Nothing like glow-in-the-dark food to get the saliva going.

I was resting peacefully one night doing what I do best, thinking about Peeps® and the American dream when I had an epiphany. What could be more all-American than Cheetos® brand cheese puffs — bright orange, no nutritional value whatsoever, full of fat, and crunchalicious? Then I epiphanized again when I pondered, “what would make Cheetos even more American?” Like a bolt of lightening it came to me — birds of a feather, namely chicken and Peeps. Yes, this is a fowl dish. When I went to the store to purchase the Cheetos — for I usually don’t buy such things (no doubt you question my patriotism) and have them laying about because you know if it’s here, I’m gonna eat it and I’m already getting a waistline like my mother (what waist?), but I digress — I was surprised at the Cheeto options layed out before me on multiple shelves. There were puffed, crunchy, and different flavored varieties. Being the adventurous sort, I opted for the “Flaming Hot,” crunchy Cheetos because I didn’t want to have that fake-orange color on my food. It’d be like eating solid Tang®. Where as neon red, yum — see photo — you can’t get much more naturally yummy looking than that!

This is how the Pilgrims made Cheetos Chicken Peeps before the Native American’s showed them how to use a Cuisinart.

Please learn from my experience when preparing this dish. The crunchy Cheetos are very hard to smash into a bread-crumb like consistency so you may want to get the puffed. I mean they’re really hard to smoosh unless you have a fancy-schmancy food processor or something, which I do not. I first tried a potato masher, to no avail. The Cheetos just few out of the pan and onto the counter. It was kind of like fireworks, but not what I was after. (Note to self for an interactive dish around July.) Luckily I had a sledge hammer which worked very well.

This is a surprisingly easy dish to make, perfect after a long day at work. The Peeps weren’t too keen on doing it however. They’re jealous of the market share, brand recognition, and advertising budget of Cheetos. They thought that they might not get top billing on the dish as they usually do. I mentioned that not everything is always all about them. I almost had a riot going on in the kitchen. Live and learn. Our compromise was that they’d be on top of the Cheeto-crusted chicken, thus showing their dish dominance. Why couldn’t I have chosen something easy to blog about, like rubber duckies. They don’t talk back.

INGREDIENTS:

• Chicken breasts
• 1 egg
• Cheetos — whatever variety you want
• Peeps

DIRECTIONS:

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
• Beat the egg
• Smash the Cheetos
• Dip the chicken in the egg, then into the crushed Cheetos
• Bake for 1/2 hour
• Place your Peeps

yum

Just look at ’em — mugging for the camera trying to upstage the Cheetos.