Shishka-Peeps®

Shishka-Peeps awaiting their fate.

I’m finding that cooking with Peeps® has an inherent violence I had not anticipated.  In fact, working with Peeps requires a hard heart in that there are many beheadings and skewerings in order to create brilliant Peeps recipes. And the Peeps themselves are a violent race as you may have noticed — peep for a peep and all that. Shishka-Peeps is yet another case in point (as are Medieval Peeps on a Pike and Swedish Peepballs).

“From whence did this dish originate?” you may ask. “Shish” is Turkish for “skewer,” “Peeps” is Turkish for “Peeps,”  and “ka” is crow for “Hey Helen!” This Middle-Eastern dish spawns from the nomadic warrior Peeps of the ancient Arab world who would stab various meats, vegetables and themselves with their swords and cook it all on an open fire in the desert. Keeping in the cuteness spirit, the traditional meat is lamb (have you seen those baby sheeps? SO adorable! No wonder people want to eat them.) but any ol’ meat will do. Even vegans have been known to roast some tofu on the spit.

Versatile, colorful, and darned yummy, Shishka Peeps are the perfect BBQ fare for the international diner. Not unlike the tortilla, every culture has some form of shish dish (Shishka-Peeps being the most common of course.) — satay, kushiyaki, yakitori, suya, etc. So for your next outdoor eat fest consider Shishka-Peeps while chug-a-lugging a keg or two and watch the vomit fly.

Recipe:

Really? You need directions? Look at the photo and figure it out.

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The 2nd Annual Burning Peeps® Festival

The Flaming Peeps Martini, the hallmark of the Burning Peeps Festival.

Last weekend we had the 2nd annual Burning Peeps® Festival at Amy’s house, where we were all gathered for the traditional opening of the event — the lighting of the Flaming Peeps Martini. Only the ignition of the Olympic torch competes with the grandeur of this ritual.  This solemn occasion was a huge success — as opposed to last year’s when the peeps just got charred and were way ugly with their faces burned off. (The secret is to douse the peeps in Everclear. Yes, it brings back memories of high school and throwing up on the golf course, just like any good ceremony.) The peeps burned and melted, not unlike pouring salt on a slug. Then the glass got so hot that it broke. It was awesome.

The other activities were a big hit as well; the peeps drum circle was a huge success drawing crowds of 2 or more, and luckily the weather held for the Peeps Swimsuit Competition. Anya’s Freedom Peeps symposium was most inspiring. Many a delectable  peeps dining experience was on display (recipes to follow in subsequent blogs). Sooz, as always, won the prize for best peeps dish. She’s a natural when it comes to peeps cooking. We’re all looking forward to her regifting her winnings at Christmas.

It’s hard to believe that yet another year has passed. As we bid a fond farewell to successful Burning Peeps #2, we have great memories of the art, the free spirits, the camaraderie, the nudity, and of course the burning of the peeps.

 

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Peeps® Porridge Hot

Best to eat your Peeps Porridge hot and quickly before the water balloon fights start. Peeps get bored so quickly!

Best to eat your Peeps Porridge hot and quickly before the water balloon fights start. Peeps get bored so quickly!

If you have nine days to spare waiting around for pea soup to sit in a pot, then go for it. If however you’re up for a more timely repast, Peeps® Porridge Hot is for you. Porridge is a mushy dish made of boiled meal — for example — funnily enough — oatmeal. You can also use Quinoa or wheat or any other grain you may fancy. There are many forms of porridge, savory and sweet, from all over the world. The Chinese have a version of peas porridge and of course there is the famous British version with the typical weird spelling that has too many vowel (“pease” — I mean really…) that was turned into a nursery rhyme.

The peeps weren’t into the pea thing, because they’d already participated in a bean soup and felt that they had hot legumes covered — so they chose oats for our porridge. It can be made with boiling water or milk. It’s so yummy even Oliver Twist asked for more — oh, wait that was gruel, but that’s just watery porridge so we’re good. A little known fact is that it was actually hot cereal that gave Oliver the gumption to turn his back on a life of crime and move in with Mr. Brownlow who made a mean pot o’ porridge.

As you may recall the peeps were very interested in having more breakfast dishes represented in their blog, so we created Peeps Porridge Hot. It’s an excellent pre-ski dish in that it is as yummy as it is warming. It’ll give you your daily allowance of fiber and the week’s allowance of sugar. The peeps love swimming around in the hot, grainy cereal leaving a trail of marshmallowy goodness wherever they go. It’s a win-win situation where they get a warm bottom and you get sweetness to start  your day.

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup rolled oats
  • 3 cups water
  • Dried fruit of your choice
  • Cinnamon and/or nutmeg if you’re adventurous
  • Milk to taste
  • Peeps

Easy to Follow Directions:

  1. Soak the oats in 1 cup of water for 4 minutes.
  2. While the oats are soaking, bring 2 cups of water and any spices to boil
  3. When the water begins to boil, add the oats along with any residual soaking liquid.
  4. Stir in the dried fruit and reduce the heat to low.
  5. Cook covered for 5 – 6 minutes or until the mixture becomes thick… add more water if you prefer gruel.
  6. Remove from heat, stir in milk to taste and add your peeps.

IMG_0601

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Cheetos® Flaming Hot Chicken Peeps®

Nothing like glow-in-the-dark food to get the saliva going.

I was resting peacefully one night doing what I do best, thinking about Peeps® and the American dream when I had an epiphany. What could be more all-American than Cheetos® brand cheese puffs — bright orange, no nutritional value whatsoever, full of fat, and crunchalicious? Then I epiphanized again when I pondered, “what would make Cheetos even more American?” Like a bolt of lightening it came to me — birds of a feather, namely chicken and Peeps. Yes, this is a fowl dish. When I went to the store to purchase the Cheetos — for I usually don’t buy such things (no doubt you question my patriotism) and have them laying about because you know if it’s here, I’m gonna eat it and I’m already getting a waistline like my mother (what waist?), but I digress — I was surprised at the Cheeto options layed out before me on multiple shelves. There were puffed, crunchy, and different flavored varieties. Being the adventurous sort, I opted for the “Flaming Hot,” crunchy Cheetos because I didn’t want to have that fake-orange color on my food. It’d be like eating solid Tang®. Where as neon red, yum — see photo — you can’t get much more naturally yummy looking than that!

This is how the Pilgrims made Cheetos Chicken Peeps before the Native American’s showed them how to use a Cuisinart.

Please learn from my experience when preparing this dish. The crunchy Cheetos are very hard to smash into a bread-crumb like consistency so you may want to get the puffed. I mean they’re really hard to smoosh unless you have a fancy-schmancy food processor or something, which I do not. I first tried a potato masher, to no avail. The Cheetos just few out of the pan and onto the counter. It was kind of like fireworks, but not what I was after. (Note to self for an interactive dish around July.) Luckily I had a sledge hammer which worked very well.

This is a surprisingly easy dish to make, perfect after a long day at work. The Peeps weren’t too keen on doing it however. They’re jealous of the market share, brand recognition, and advertising budget of Cheetos. They thought that they might not get top billing on the dish as they usually do. I mentioned that not everything is always all about them. I almost had a riot going on in the kitchen. Live and learn. Our compromise was that they’d be on top of the Cheeto-crusted chicken, thus showing their dish dominance. Why couldn’t I have chosen something easy to blog about, like rubber duckies. They don’t talk back.

INGREDIENTS:

  • Chicken breasts
  • 1 egg
  • Cheetos — whatever variety you want
  • Peeps

DIRECTIONS:

  • Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
  • Beat the egg
  • Smash the Cheetos
  • Dip the chicken in the egg, then into the crushed Cheetos
  • Bake for 1/2 hour
  • Place your Peeps

yum

Just look at ’em — mugging for the camera trying to upstage the Cheetos.

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CupPeepCakes

4 and 20 Peeps (okay, 5) sitting on their perch (not the fish) discussing Kant and the relevance of catechistics.

The Peeps® are really on a sugar kick these days. So much so that you’d think they’re made of the stuff. That’s because it’s Fall, the time of year that Peeps get broody and want to nest. So we came up with a sweet spot for them to lay their patooties down and doo that voo doo that Peeps doo so well which gives us more Peeps in the spring. It’s biology folks. What did you think? That they’re made in a factory or something?  Squirted out of a tube? Heavens no. Peeps have a very elaborate mating ritual prior to Peep-patootie putting, but it’s far too private to share on the Internet. Although there may be a Peep porn site out there — you just never know how sick some people can be.

Peeps are very picky about texture so we experimented with various types of frosting. They liked the cream cheese version best. You can see how happily they wiggled their way into the froth and snuggled their bottoms into Peep-laying mode.

Peeps stay in their nests until the baby Peeps appear — that’s why there is the telltale sign of Peep poo on the CupPeepCake – at least it’s colorful and looks like confetti (and it doesn’t stink). Peeps have everything they need right there on the icing: food, cozy warmth, and their fellow Peeps right next door on the plate. It’s a happy time in the kitchen as they anticipate the little ones’ arrival. It’s also a huge relief that they’ve gotten past the PMS (Peeps Mating Syndrome), which makes them all bloated and cranky. It’s been a rough couple of weeks.

White Cupcakes

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour (the white kind)
• 1-1/2 cups white sugar (Peeps prefer organic which isn’t white but they’re fussy)
• 3 teaspoons baking powder (which IS white)
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (white again)
• 4 egg whites from large eggs (which are — yup, you guessed it, white)
• 1/2 cup shortening (Crisco is white — but it’s also gross, you may want to try butter which isn’t white, but tastes so much better)
• 1 cup 2% milk (white white white)
• 2 large eggs
• 1-1/2 teaspoon vanilla (which isn’t white but is very delish)

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Line cupcake pans with paper liners. I just love paper liners because I’m not keen on doing dishes. I think this is the big advantage of CupPeepCakes over normal-sized cakes. Clean up is a breeze and no worries about the bottom of the cake sticking to the pan.

Mix flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, shortening, milk, and vanilla  in a large mixing bowl.  Mix at low speed for 2 minutes if using machinery or if mixing by hand, until batter is smooth.  Scrape bowl. Go on, lick the spoon — this is why we bake!  Add egg whites and mix at high speed until fluffy and smooth, approximately 2 minutes or until all mixed and loverly — again lick spoon.

Spoon batter into the liners until they’re 1/2 to 2/3 full.  Lick spoon. Bake 20-25 minutes (ish) or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Cool 10 minutes in the pan then remove the cupcakes, and place them on wire racks to cool completely.

Frost, sprinkle, and place your Peeps.

Frosting:

Ingredients

  • 1/4 cup cream cheese, softened (more whiteness)
  • 1/4 cup butter, softened (still not white)
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla (see above)
  • 1-1/2 cups powdered sugar (white!)

Preparation

In a bowl (I know you wanted to mix it on the counter — silly you), beat the cream cheese with the butter; beat in the vanilla; beat in the sugar, 1/2 portion at a time until smooth. If you want to get fancypants about the frosting, put it in a pastry bag with a decorative schnozzle and squirt pretty patterns on top of the cupcake. The Peeps will appreciate your effort. They have very good taste.

Lick spoon.

This Peep was so excited about the new Peeps to come that she pushed a little too hard… Peep poo galore. The other Peeps laughed so hard that they pooed too — now they all have colorful CupPeepCakes in which to nest.

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Swedish Peepballs

Snug as a Peep in a jello nest, Swedish Peepballs are the Prairie Oyster of Europe.

A delicacy in northern Europe and quickly becoming the rage in Seattle, Swedish Peepballs are the traditional way to say buh-bye to winter and hello spring. After going insane from the dark days and gloomy weather, Nordic types find their center and remember that life is worth living by making Peepballs. They are difficult to make (Peepballs, not the Norse) and require special equipment, which makes them a perfectly suited Zen exercise for the hardy human coming out of a winter funk. No need to sit in the sauna until you’re sweating like a Peep and then throwing yourself into the snow tempting cardiac arrest just to feel like you’re alive. Personally I think that people who do that (or run marathons) are insane — and don’t get me started on the crazies who jump into the North Sea in February for a little swim. I mean, c’mon! How is that fun? I prefer to keep my breath thank you. Making Swedish Peepballs provides a far more frustrating, yet safer alternative to curing the winter blues.

Excellent fare for toboggan races and quilting bees. Serve as you would a chocolate truffle or other delicacy.

Special equipment:

  • Cake-pop pan
  • Flavor injector (A syringe-type dealie for squirting stuff into hunks of meat. I got mine for about $1.50 at Target. This was a relief because I didn’t want to go to Sweden at this time of year.)

Ingredients:

  • Jello®
  • Water
  • Peeps®

Recipe:

  1. Make the Jello according to the recipe on the box for “quick set.” Leave the ice in for a bit longer than the recipe calls for so it’s thickened, but still a liquid.
  2. Cut off the heads of your Peeps. I’m sad to say the whole Peep body won’t fit in the divots in the pan. You are free to use the French decapitation method shown in the picture my cousin sent me, but don’t apply the ketchup. You are also welcome to use the Medieval Peeps on a Pike recipe. Or be creative and come up with your own way to sever a Peep head. See why this recipe is so cheery to the Europeans?
  3. Place the Peep heads in the compartments in the half of the cake-pop pan that does not have holes. Put on the top and lock down the cake-pop pan.
  4. Fill your syringe with the thickened jello. Stick the “needle” in the hole and squirt in the jello. After you’ve filled each compartment, place in the fridge or freezer to solidify.
  5. Unlock, open the pan, and gently lift your Swedish Peepballs from their nesting place.
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Peeps® Phad Thai

Peeps nestled in rice noodles, what could be better?

Peeps nestled in rice noodles with a slice of lime, what could be better?

When you need to Thai one on, what could be better than going asian with Peeps® Phad Thai? When I told the Peeps about this dish they got really excited, because they thought (for some reason) that it had to do with rocket ships. I was very confused, until they cleared up the whole launch pad, vs lunch Phad thing. Sometimes I wonder about those peeps — they can be so cute and frisky, and yet so stoopid. Well, what should I expect from chicks with marshmallow for brains (not a blonde joke)?

But I digress, it turns out Phad Thai is much more common in Thai restaurants in the United States than it is anywhere else in the world — including Thailand where this dish may or may not have originated. I can tell you that the Peeps version is even rarer. Apparently there is some thought that is should be Peeps Phad Viet Nam.  So when you want to wow your guests with an exotic and controversial dish — this is the one for you. Just like the Peeps’ intellect, it’s very noodley and kinda slimy. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

  • 9 oz. rice noodles
  • 3 – 5 Peeps (or if you’re really adventurous, add chicken or shrimp)
  • 1.5 tbsp. soy sauce
  • 4 minced cloves of garlic
  • 1-2 fresh red or green chilies, finely sliced
  • 1 tsp. grated ginger
  • 4 sliced scallions
  • 1 or 2 eggs (depending on how eggy you want to get)
  • 2-3 cups bean sprouts
  • 1/3 cup chopped dry roasted unsalted peanuts
  • 3 tbsp. vegetable oil for stir-frying
  • lime wedges for serving and plate beautification

Sauce:

  • 1/3 cup chicken stock
  • 3 tbsp. rice vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. fresh lime juice
  • 2 tbsp. brown sugar
  • 1 tbsp. fish sauce
  • 1 tbsp. soy sauce
  • 1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper

Directions:

  1. Place Peeps (or your shrimp or chicken — whatever) in a bowl and toss with soy sauce. Set aside.
  2. Combine ‘Pad Thai Sauce’ ingredients together in a cup, stirring to dissolve sugar. Set aside.
  3. Bring a large pot of water to boil. Dunk in rice noodles and switch off heat. Allow noodles to soak until soft enough to bend easily (about 5 minutes), but still firm. Drain and rinse noodles briefly with cold water to keep from sticking. Set aside.
  4. Heat a wok or large frying pan over medium-high heat. Add oil, then sauté the garlic with the chili, ginger, and the white parts of the green onion (keep green tops for later). Fry 1 minute, stirring constantly.
  5. Add marinated peeps (or whatever) and fry 2 minutes. If pan becomes dry, add 1-2 tbsp. of the Phad Thai sauce.
  6. Push the ingredients to the side of the pan. Crack the eggs into the center of the pan and scramble. Then add noodles plus 3-4 Tbsp. of the Phad Thai sauce. Toss until the noodles are chewy and a little bit sticky (8ish minutes).
  7. Gently fold in the bean sprouts (they will soften down into the heat of the noodles while remaining crispy).
  8. Spoon out onto individual plates and add a lime wedge on the side and a little pile of not-cooked bean sprouts. Top with green onion and a small heap of chopped/ground nuts.
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Peeps® Jello® Mold

Peeps jello mold. A bit creepy, but oh, so yummy.

What could be easier than making Jello®? Certainly not Peeps® Jello Mold. Turns out the specific gravity of Peeps is less than the specific gravity of jello and the darn things float. This is a problem when doing a mold o’ jello because the mold is inverted for to serve and that makes for Peeps on the bottom. Even doing a 2-stage Peep Jello mold doesn’t work without cunning. If you do the mold in halvsies, the Peeps — even when they look to be embedded in the first layer — float right up through the second layer when chilling in the fridge. So ingenuity and brute force are required.

You would never guess how useful those pikes are from the Medieval Peeps on a Pike recipe! Aside from the unfortunate Peeps jousting incident, they work well to force the Peeps to the bottom (top) of the mold along with a heavy weight. Skewer, dunk, and apply force. See image 2. One must remove the pikes before pouring in the second layer because removing them later would be ug-ly. My make-them-stay method was clever but doomed to fail because they are ramblin’ Peeps and refuse to stay put even when seemingly stuck in solid jello.

All this was discovered too late in the game (see image 3) and I had to chuck the whole mess. It was going to be so pretty too — I bought a rose mold just for the occasion. Sigh. Now you have to understand how lazy I am and this continued effort to make a recipe work is really against my nature. Only my commitment to you, dear reader, keeps me forging on with my quest for awesome recipes involving Peeps. That and I’m exceptionally bored.

Image 2.  Sometimes you have to get very insistent with Peeps to get them to do what you want them to do.

So whilst pondering a way to get the Peeps to the top of the mold (and don’t assume I didn’t think of using rocks as weights) the thought comes to me, “aha! Peeps float through solid jello so if I fill a mold all the way to the top and chill it, then flip it on top of the Peeps, they will float up and they will finally be where I want them.” But it turns out that the floaty part of Peeps is their butts. You would think it’d be their heads that were full of air what with their weird rituals and endemic crankiness, but no, their heads are denser than the mass of their asses. No matter what you do, they will float butt first, and that’s not really the esthetic we’re after.

The trick to a successful Peeps jello mold is to use a smallish mold and then it appears that the Peeps are at the top of the mold because of the relative sizing, but in reality, they’re at the bottom. See top photo.

Image 3. Not a pretty picture. Peep butts galore.

The blessing out of all this is that I discovered SwedishPeepballs  which came from my determination that I would win over the Peeps and get them to do my bidding — and stay where I put them in the jello. It’s also puts their thick heads to good use.

Recipe:

Just follow the instructions on the Jello box. Throw in the Peeps and hope for the best.

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Peeps® B & J

Won’t your Bridge pals be impressed by these l’il darlins?

Another classy canape that will impress even the snootiest of your friends. Peeps® B & J add a certain Je ne c’est quoi to any social gathering — be it Art Opening, Bridge game, or yacht race (“Muffy dear, open the champers and bring out the Peeps B & J, we’re coming about!”).  They bring out the inner child in the stuffiest of snobs. Who doesn’t like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?  It takes us right back to elementary school when we didn’t have a care in the world (other than Jonathan Jones tormenting me — boy did I have a temper back then and it amused him no end to make me mad. Although that backfired once when I threw a knife at him and it stuck in his knee). This happy hors d’oeuvre is out of the lunch box and into the living room. Why should little girls’ tea parties have all the fun? hmmm? Peeps B & J! It’s easy, cute as the dickens, and way yummy.

Easy peasy recipe:

  • Bread cut into rounds. I used a glass and punched it through the bread — works like magic.
  • PB
  • J
  • Peeps

Make your bread rounds. Slather the peanut (or almond or cashew) butter on the rounds. Place your Peeps. Dab a dollop of jam (I used raspberry) on the Peeps’ heads. Bingo! Peeps® B & J!

Slather the nut butter on the bread rounds.

Pop on Peeps and give ’em a jam hat.


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Pesto Peeps® Pizza — That’s a Peeps-a-pie to you, compagno!

Pesto Peeps-a-pie

When the moon hits your eye like a big Peeps®-a-pie, that’s amore. That said, you will LOVE this tasty pizza adorned with Peeps and whatever else you want to throw on it. You will definitely want amore and amore a Peeps-a-pie. Peeps-a is basically a round, Italian, hot salad on bread with a few Peeps thrown on at the last minute. There are no rules so I used Anarchist Peeps. I’ve included helpful recipes below for those of you who don’t feel safe without boundaries and direction (I recommend you use Republican Peeps), but really, once you have the basic ingredients, you can wing it. (snicker — get it? “wing. it.” — Peeps are chicks… birds…they have wings… okay, fine. Don’t laugh.)

The best technique to follow for Peeps-a-pie is to make your pizza like you were a normal human being — I tossed artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes, garlic, tomato sauce and tons of pesto on mine. Then throw it in the oven at 450 degrees for 20 minutes (which was useful when it came to browning the crust which is much more

Image 2 — blinded by the heat. I went all Ibsen on them and cried, “the sun! the sun!” when I took them out of the oven, but they didn’t find it amusing. Peeps — go figure. Sure, they can go on and on about nihilism vs anarchy, but really, no sense of humor.

appetizing than pale crust — like blondes, it looks better with a tan. During the last 5 minutes place the Peeps in a decorative pattern. Bake them until their eyes melt (see image 2) and then take ’em out (not the eyes — the Peeps-a-pie). They’ll be soft on the inside and still firm on the outside (The Peeps that is). It’s kinda cool watching them bake. The sugar on their yellowness starts to melt and it looks like they’re sweating. I mean, who wouldn’t in 450 degree heat — but who knew Peeps could sweat? I didn’t think they could – but then if they can have political leanings, why not glands?

Pizza Dough:

Ingredients

  • 1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • 1 cup warm water
  • 2 1/2 cups flour
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon salt

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Dissolve the yeast and sugar in warm water. Let it stand about about 10 minutes. This is an excellent time to chat with your Peeps about the political morass America faces today.
  2. Stir in flour, salt and oil. Beat out all the lumps. Let it rest for 5 minutes.
  3. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and roll or toss it into a circle-ish shape. Transfer crust to a lightly greased pizza pan or baking sheet dusted with flour. Spread with desired toppings and bake at 450 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes, or until golden brown. Let baked pizza cool for 5 minutes before serving.

Pesto

Ingredients

  • 2 cups fresh basil leaves, tightly packed
  • 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
  • 1/3 cup pine nuts — although I prefer walnuts. If you use these, chop them up before putting them in the mix.
  • 3 medium or 5 large (depending on how much you like garlic) sized garlic cloves, minced
  • Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
  • You’ll need a food processor. If you don’t have one, or if you’re just really lazy, go to the store and buy some pesto. Really, there’s no shame in being a slacker. We all have busy lives. 

Directions

1 Combine the basil in with the pine nuts, pulse a few times in the food processor. Add the garlic, pulse a few times more.

2 Slowly add the olive oil in a constant stream while the food processor is on. Stop to scrape down the sides of the food processor with a rubber spatula. Add the grated cheese and pulse again until blended. Add a pinch of salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste.

Sweaty Peeps

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